Je vais returner en Aout...

One of the harder things about going back to the USA for a visit is remembering that everyone who's still there has changed at least as much as I have. Harder than that is realizing how much I've changed. You may be amazed how little cheese I eat now. Harder than that is the undeniable reminder that relationships require contact. Living on the other side of the world from all you grew up with and everyone you've known is, on the whole, not that difficult. The difficulty is in trying to connect and maintain all those scattered parts of youself; keep track of them, choose them, enjoying them.

People are always more than a few words could ever convey.

But the hardest, of course, is deciding on my own how to divide the time and choose the places. How to box in the opportunites, and to find the faces.

I'm comin' in the end of August. In some ways, a home-coming, for sure, though only a visit. But to use the word '帰る' is still so hard; My parents' house is one I've never seen, my Sisters' is, well, my sisters'. My friends have moved around, added family members, a few extra pounds or lost some hair. Mostly we're all the same, though, I think; close is close enough; the details don't matter. People often ask me here when I'm going home; It's so hard to respond, in Japanese. Home? Well I don't have a house there, and I do have a home here. And there, I don't have a place to go back to, just things, and people, and memories. Well, I don't have just ONE place to go back to, anyway.

I knew that would happen when I came. It's a feeling that in some part I've always had, ever since we moved within my memory. I've always been new, somehow. I'm never quite native. And, I suppose, that's part of why I came; because, in the end, I knew that I could. For me, though human as any other, it wasn't such a strange idea, to start over once again being a total stranger.

Alors, je vais returner. See you when I get there. And to everyone else, 大丈夫よ。勿論戻るよ。帰る事は　いつも冒険の最初の所で来るでしょう。Most new adventures start when you're just trying to go back. (-_^)/

UNGLAUBLICH: Here's bettin' you never had this one, either.

Yeah. You can see the picture.
The writing in kanji and kana says:

Shio Banira

Then in fancy English script it says:

Chocolate.

So I was talking to one of my friends at a 7-11 the other day, and I said, "これは信じられないよ〜" and I showed her one of the cucumber pepsis, right? And then she's all giddy and is all like, "キュウリ！キュウリでしょう？！" [It's cucumber! Cucumber, right!?!] and then she asks me what it's like and THEN the conversations shifts a little and she points to this little basket of chocolates by the cash register.

"[you've had one of these, right?]" she asks.
"[what. They're chocolates. Yeah.]"
"ちょっと読んで" she tells me to take a moment and try and read the kanji, because I'm so used to not being able to read stuff here that it often slips right past me even though I'm now starting to be able to read. I see the first Kanji. I'm like, "SHIO?" and she's all, "Sou des' ne. Shio." "E-'!" I'm surprised. "SHIO BANIRA?!?" She smiles. It means, respectively, salt and vanilla.

"Chokore-to" she adds, just in case I forgot to read the english in the lurch.

"[SALT] [VANILLA] [CHOCOLATE]?!" My eyes are bulging with disbelief.

She laughs. "甘い" she says, [it's sweet.] "[they've always been here but no one ever really looks at them...]"

I tried one.

Strangely, oddly, not bad. Mostly soft vanilla chocolate. With a *strong* subtaste of salt. Like, there's no doubt.

塩バニラのチョコ。
信じられない。[Shinjirarenai. = unbelievable]

I guess you never do know what you will find, eh?

UNGLAUBLICH: Kyuuri-no-Pepsi

ไม่อย่ากชีอเลึย...

You'll never believe what I just found at 7-11 around the corner.

Do you all have this stuff where you are, too? I mean, seriously. CUCUMBER flavored Pepsi. I don't know if I can't believe it, don't want to believe it, or just refuse to admit that I actually bought it just to find out what the heck it actually is.


UNBELIEVABLE.
しんじられない。






キュウリ？キュウリ？！？キュウリの味？！へ〜？！？！？！ Yeah.. It's actually VERY cucumber flavored. There's no mistaking the strong whiff after opening. Das kann ich -oder eigentlich WILL ich- ja gar nicht glauben, aber so ist es. Gurkenpepsi. Was wird am nächsten? f(. .;)/'

詩・zu Viel Zeit

Wir haben alle viele Zeit
aber es genügt uns nie.
Wir wollen immer alles tun
versuchen
versuchte
versucht
na deshalb wißen wir wie
dachten wir es genügt uns doch
aber zuviel versucht
naturlich noch nicht fertig
immer noch.


So viel haben wir
"es ist zu viel„ meinen wir
machen wir doch "zu viel„ das Gleiche
aber, trotzdem
wenn wir meinten
wirklich zu viel wär es nicht

dann, veilleicht, versuchten wir weniger
und dannach shafften wir mehr
als wir vorher meinten.

(nur am denken. doch versuche ich immer zu viel zu plannen, dann spiele zu viel die schöne Pläne gar nicht zu tasten...)

詩・To Sleep in Light

I want to talk, I want to write,
but it's better, I think, to sleep the night
so that I won't rise before I wake
and lay encased in the morning light.

Ahh...

...頑張っていま〜す。

詩・Sudden Rain

Sudden rain
while playing a game
I stop when I hear it outside.

今２００７年６月９日・広島市